Kids Are Quick

Recently, I got the jokes below from email forwarding.  Then, I thought it might be useful for everyone to read here.
Have Fun! 

____________________________________

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:        Here it is.
TEACHER:    Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.
____________________________________

TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
____________________________________

TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:      Me!
____________________________________

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand.    
____________________________________

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher
____________________________________

Lenka The Show Lyrics:
เพลงน่ารักดีครับ

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ViIV8mFD44

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle 
Life is a maze, love is a riddle 
I don’t know where to go 
Can’t do it alone 
I’ve tried, and I don’t know why 

Slow it down, make it stop 
Or else my heart is going to pop 
Cause it’s too much, yea it’s a lot 
To be something I’m not 

I’m a fool, out of love 
Cause I just can’t get enough 

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle 
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle 
I don’t know where to go 
Can’t do it alone 
I’ve tried, and I don’t know why 

I’m just a little girl lost in the moment 
I’m so scared but I don’t show it 
I can’t figure it out 
It’s bringing me down 
I know, I’ve got to let it go 

And just enjoy the show 

The sun is hot in the sky 
Just like a giant spot light 
The people follow the signs 
And sychronize in time 

It’s a joke, nobody knows 
They got a ticket to the show 
Yea 

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle 
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle 
I don’t know where to go 
Can’t do it alone 
I’ve tried, and I don’t know why 

I’m just a little girl lost in the moment 
I’m so scared but I don’t show it 
I can’t figure it out 
It’s bringing me down 
I know, I’ve got to let it go 

And just enjoy the show 

Just engoy the show 
I’m just a little bit caught in the middle 
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle 
I don’t know where to go 
Can’t do it alone 
I’ve tried, and I don’t know why 

I’m just a little girl lost in the moment 
I’m so scared but I don’t show it 
I can’t figure it out 
It’s bringing me down 
I know, I’ve got to let it go 

And just enjoy the show 

Just enjoy the show [x2] 

I want my money back [x3] 

Just enjoy the show 

I want my money back [x3] 

Just enjoy the show

Claustrophobia – โรคกลัวที่ปิดทึบ หรือ กลัวที่แคบๆ

Claustrophobia (from Latin claustrum “a shut in place”) is the fear of enclosed spaces. It is typically classified as an anxiety disorder and often results in panic attack. One study indicates that anywhere from 2-5% of the general world population is affected by severe claustrophobia, but only a small percentage of these people receive some kind of treatment for the disorder.

Claustrophobia is typically thought to have two key symptoms: fear of restriction and fear of suffocation. A typical claustrophobic will fear restriction in at least one, if not several, of the following areas: small rooms, locked rooms, tunnels, cellars, elevators, subway trains, caves, and crowded areas. Additionally, the fear of restriction can cause some claustrophobics to fear trivial matters such as sitting in a barber’s chair or waiting in line at a grocery store simply out of a fear of confinement to a single space. However, claustrophobics are not necessarily afraid of these areas themselves, but, rather, they fear what could happen to them should they become confined to said area. Often, when confined to an area, claustrophobics begin to fear suffocation, believing that there may be a lack of air in the area to which they are confined. Any combination of the above symptoms can lead to severe panic attacks. However, most claustrophobics do everything in their power to avoid these situations

(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claustrophobia)

Vocab for reading

Enclosed (adj) – ถูกปิดล้อม
It is typically classified – ปกติแล้วมันถูกแบ่งออกเป็น..
is affected by – มีผลกระทบจาก
        [จะเห็นว่าเราจะใช้ affect (V) ไม่ใช้ effect (N)]
severe (adj) – ที่รุนแรง
treatment for the disorder – การรักษาอาการความผิดปกติ
symptoms – อาการของโรค
fear of restriction – กลัวการถูกกักกัน
fear of confinement – กลัวการถูกกักกัน
fear of suffocation – กลัวการขาดออกซิเจน
locked rooms – ห้องที่ถูกล๊อค
cellars – storage space – ห้องเก็บของ
crowded areas – พื้นที่ที่เต็มไปด้วยผู้คน
trivial matters – เรื่องราวเล็กๆ น้อยๆ
waiting in line – คอยคิว