A panicked passenger in the Titanic:

Passenger: Captain, How far is the way to the nearest land?

Captain: Two and a half Miles.

Passenger: In which direction?

Captain: Towards bottom!

Source : Jokes2U.com

Kids Are Quick

Recently, I got the jokes below from email forwarding.  Then, I thought it might be useful for everyone to read here.
Have Fun! 

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TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:        Here it is.
TEACHER:    Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
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TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:      Me!
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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand.    
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TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher
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