WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: Definitely not!
WIFE: Why not – don’t you like being married?
HUSBAND: Of course I do.
WIFE: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND: Okay, I’d get married again.
WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan).
WIFE: Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND: Sure, it’s a great house.
WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?
WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.
WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs like my best love callaway x22, TITLEIST AP2 and Callaway ft-iq driver?
HUSBAND: No, she likes Honma 802 and is left-handed.
WIFE: Silence -
HUSBAND: ‘Oh dear.. *****’

Source : http://bbs.english.sina.com/

Answering Machine Messages

Here are some of the funny answering machine messages. Trust me!

Hi, this is Sara.

If you are the phone company, I’ve already sent the money.

If you are my parents, please send me the money.

If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.

If you are my friends, you owe me the money.

If you are a female, don’t worry I have a lot of money.

Hi, I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like.

Leave me a message. And if I don’t call back, it’s you.

The Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.

Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.

Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 2008.

Why do we call the last one generation Y?